I recently got married and went to Professor Google to ask how to legally change my surname. As per usual with Professor Google, I got sidetracked and found myself laughing through an article about the strangest legal name changes I’ve ever heard.
I’ve saved that tab for a while now, and the time has come for all of you to share in the gloriousness of this list.
1. Tyrannosaurus Rex
His original name was Tyler Gould and as an entrepreneur, he recognized the importance of name recognition. At least that’s what he claimed. I personally believe he fulfilled a childhood dream.
I asked Professor Google what exactly was T-Rex’s entrepreneurship, but I got inconclusive results. There are too many Tyler Goulds and Tyrannosaurus Rexes out there.
2. The Dan Miller Experience
Dan Miller was 24 when he changed his name to The Dan Miller Experience simply because:
“I like to do little things in my life that amuse me. This amuses me.”
I can’t tell if this guy is fun at parties or a total wet blanket.
3. Bacon Double Cheeseburger
Originally, Bacon Double Cheeseburger was called Simon Smith. Unlike the other names which were a conscious, thought-out decision, Bacon Double Cheeseburger attributes his title to too many drinks and a pub conversation about names.
“Everyone loves bacon, don’t they?” He says when asked about the change.
Andrew Wilson probably has the best reason of all to change his name.
“‘They do this,’ or ‘They’re to blame for that.’ Who is this ‘they’ everyone talks about? ‘They’ accomplish such great things. Somebody had to take responsibility.”
5. James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond
This is my top favorite. David Fearn always wanted to be James Bond and now he’s achieved that fantasy. I only hope he introduces himself properly.
“Hey, what’s your name?”
“Bond… James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond.”
Speaking of names, there’s one, in particular, I would like to have changed.
‘Breakfast food’ is a sham.
Pancakes, waffles, eggs, toast, muffins, croissants, cereal, and all the other wonderful dishes should not be restricted to mornings. If it were up to me, I would title them in the spirit of James etc etc etc Bond:
Food That Can Be Eaten In The Morning But Should Also Be Eaten The Rest Of The Day Cereal Toast Donuts Omelettes Because They Are Delicious Cinnamon Bun Pancake Waffle Muffins And Basically All The Goods In A Bakery At Seven In The Morning That Light Up Your Life With The Scent of Heaven Beyond Heaven And It Can Also Be Healthy Fruit Yogurt Oatmeal Cake Because There’s No Law Against Having Cake In the Morning Coffee Tea Smoothies I’d Choose So-Called Breakfast Foods For My Death Row
I think that has a nice ring to it.
For now, I’ll just call today’s recipe pancakes. Except they are not your usual pancakes full of sugar, white flour, and mounds of artificial maple-flavored high fructose corn syrup AKA pancake syrup. Now pancake syrup is the real sham around here.
No, these Apple Pie Pancakes are gluten-free and low-carb from almond flour, which gives the fluffiest results in comparison to other GF flours. They are sweetened with the real Mcoy maple syrup because I am Canadian, confound it. We put pure maple syrup in our IV drips because it gives life. Pancake syrup is a disgrace and should be burned.
Anyway, top this recipe off with sweet, sticky apples and you’ve got yourself a masterpiece of a breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. Or midnight snack. There is no morning limit.
Apple Pie Pancakes
- 1/3 cup almond milk
- 3 tbsp coconut oil, melted
- 1/2 tbsp lemon juice
- 3 tbsp maple syrup
- 3 eggs, room temperature
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 1/2 cups almond flour
- 1/3 cup brown rice flour
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- pinch of salt
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- 2 apples, peeled and diced
- 3 tbsp maple syrup
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- Mix the almond milk, coconut oil, lemon juice, maple syrup, and eggs until combined.
- In a separate bowl, mix the dry ingredients—the flours, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.
- Slowly incorporate the dry mixture into the wet ingredients until smooth. (Batter will be somewhat thick.)
- Bring a griddle over medium heat and grease with a bit of coconut oil to prevent the pancakes from sticking.
- Spoon even amounts of pancake batter (about 1/4 cup) onto the griddle. Flip over when the edges look dry, after about a few minutes, depending on the temperature of your stove.
- Repeat until all the batter is used. Re-grease the griddle as needed.
- Mix the apples, maple syrup, and cinnamon in a saucepan.
- Cover the pan and cook the apples on low-medium heat until they are soft and easily pierced with a fork.
- Spoon the apples over the pancakes, including their yummy, sweet sauce, and enjoy!
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