Veggie Fritters

“You would make a good motivational speaker,” a friend once said to me.

I was in the middle of giving her advice, which meant I had many made dumb analogies and tripped over my words. Motivational speaking is a cool idea, but I explained to her that no one would pay to hear me speak.

I’m not a fan of feel-good lectures. There’s no point for me to hear something inspiring if it’s unmotivating. If the speaker rambled about how ‘life is hard and you’re doing great,’ what’s the point of attending?

I’d rather hear the bitter truth, something that makes me say, “Oh shoot, I’m doing that bad thing and I see how it’s dragging me down” or “Wow! That is exactly what I have been struggling with! I must work to incorporate these changes into my life.”

Maybe I’m alone in wanting tough-love speakers as opposed to spreading-all-the-love gurus. If you agree with me on this, read on. Here comes my version of a motivational speech.


Speech Title: How to Do Stuff

Speaker: Sarah Biren

Credentials: is human

Good evening. If you are here, you have something you want to accomplish. Perhaps it’s a short-term goal or a lifelong dream such as writing a book, getting in shape, starting a business, or whatever you are thinking about right now. We have considered these dreams for years, longed for them to come to fruition, and been jealous of other people achieving them.

Here’s the question: Why haven’t you done it yet?

We’ve got a hundred and one reasons why not. Take your pick of:

  • I have no time.
  • I’m too lazy.
  • It’s so hard.
  • I don’t know how to begin.

These are actually really good reasons for not fulfilling your goals. I mean, dang, what could a person possibly do about being lazy or about not knowing how to start. I mean, it’s not like there is such a thing as Googling ‘how to write a novel’ or ‘how to get in shape,’ or finding books or courses about the topic.

While you’re at it, try Googling ‘how to stop being lazy’ and ‘how to stop making excuses.’


Sarcasm aside. Every day, you Google how to cook broccoli, work a camera, and to self-diagnose yourself with various ailments. You Google things you want to do. So why haven’t you searched for how to fulfill your goals? Food for thought.

So how to get stuff done? You do it.

Make a plan. In a few weeks, months, or even years that you will have this goal completed. Then make a detailed schedule of how you are going to finish the project by that deadline. Then work towards it every day. That’s it.

Listen, it’s not easy but it’s also not complicated. You work. You get the job done. You don’t. Nobody is going to to do it for you. Don’t rely on people to motivate you. No one should care about your dreams more than you do.

Back to your excuses.

  • I have no time.

You have time for a morning coffee, to watch TV, and waste time on social media every day. Make your dreams a priority.

  • I’m too lazy.

Sorry, I’m not here to fix your own character flaws. Go fix them yourself.

  • It’s so hard.

Yes, it is. That shouldn’t matter if you want it so badly.

  • I don’t know how to begin.

Get out of my motivational lecture and start attending other lectures about whatever you want to do. Geez, I don’t have all the answers for you.

Thank you and good night.


Veggie Fritters


  • 2 carrots, peeled
  • 2 zucchinis
  • 1 1/2 cups chickpea flour
  • 4 tbsp coconut oil
  • 2 eggs
  • Spices:
    • 1 1/2 tsp salt
    • 3 tsp dried parsley
    • 2 tsp dried basil
    • 3 tsp minced garlic
  • grapeseed oil, for frying


  1. Roughly chop the carrots and zucchinis and blend them in a food processor.
  2. Add the flour, coconut oil, eggs, and spices, and pulse until well-combined.
  3. Grease the pan and set it to medium heat. Test the temperature by throwing a few drops of water into the pan. If it sizzles, it’s time to begin frying.
  4. Drop the vegetable batter into the pan, about a tablespoon for each fritter.
  5. After a few minutes, flip the fritter over and press down slightly.
  6. When both sides are browned, lay them onto paper towels to cool slightly.
  7. Serve warm.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. mira says:

    like the combination,will try


  2. dev says:

    please become a motivational speaker!!


    1. Sarah Biren says:

      Haha! When I do, I’ll let you know!


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