I conducted an intensive and official poll about handedness.
Abstracts in lab papers are pure spoilers. If you want to read a study, examine the whole thing. I’m not annoying enough to spoil the ending.
We encounter hundreds of people throughout our daily activities, but 10% of those around us are mutants. They write with their left hand. In earlier decades, these mutants were forced to write with the right hand and were thought to be the devil. These ‘lefties’ are accepted and assimilated with society today. You, as a righty, may not think about which hand you write with, but in this study, I will access whether righties know their fellow righties and if lefties can detect other lefties. I will use extremely high vocabulary and run-on sentences for the purpose of eutrophication, dendrochronology, and photosynthesis in the hope that you should find me smart, circumlocution, and gasconading.
Materials and Methods
- One Samsung phone
- Used contact list to message 13 people, 10 righties and 3 lefties.
- Asked the following question: ”
“Can you name five famous people who write with the same hand as you?”
- Charted their responses. “No” is an acceptable answer.
The results were astonishingly platitudinous. All ten of the righties could not name any famous righty off the bat. Some guessed a few names since “most people are righties” but some of their guesses were surprisingly incorrect.
One out of the three lefties could not name any but referred me to a different lefty who could.
The second lefty replied the following:
- Barack Obama
- Bill Gates
- Babe Ruth
The third one sent the following list:
- Hiccup (from How to Train Your Dragon)
- Jennifer Lawrence
- Anna Kendrick
- Barack Obama
- Basically all of the Simpsons
- Angelina Jolie
- Arya Stark
- George Bush
- Tiana (from Princess and the Frog)
- Nicole Kidman
- Lisa Kudrow
- Nikola Tesla
- Aliya Mustafina
- Finn the Human
Such remarkable findings… I had no idea Obama is a famous lefty…
What do we learn from this study?
For one thing… I have no idea. It’s an interesting observation that lefties seem to have an antenna out for others. More studies must be made about the psychology of uniqueness, the lefty personality, and mutants. I will jot that down in my spiffy lab codex.
On a practical level, it makes no difference which hand you write or eat cereal with unless you are sitting next to someone who eats with the opposite. Commence the elbow war.
Some of you make skip this recipe because cereal is something you can buy. Why should you put in the extra effort?
I’ll tell you why, because it’s delicious and free of preservatives that can make the food last through the apocalypse. Whatever is ready for the end of the world should not be consumed, including warfare and zombies. Yet I’m going off track here. This recipe is simpler than it looks and it is a must-try for all cinnamon lovers.
Seriously though. If you’re a righty, do not sit eat cereal next to a lefty. It’s vexatious, pestiferous, and nitrogen oxide.
Gluten-free Cinnamon Cereal
- 1 cup oat flour
- 1/4 cup coconut flour
- 1/4 cup honey
- 1 1/2 tbsp cinnamon
- 1 egg white
- 2 tbsp coconut oil
- Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.
- Mix the flour, cinnamon, and honey in a large bowl.
- Incorporate the egg white and oil, packing the dough into two balls.
- Place one ball between two sheets of parchment paper and roll it with a rolling pin until very thin.
- Using a knife or a pizza cutter, (a ruler is also an option) cut squares into the dough, checkerboard style.
- Bake for 3-4 minutes and allow to cool for at least 10 minutes.
- The cereal will harden when cooled. Then gently break the dough and detach the squares into individual cereal pieces.
- Repeat with the second ball of dough.
- To maintain freshness, store the cereal in the fridge.
- Enjoy with any milk of your choice or plain as a great snack!