Vegan Eggplant Lasagna

There are two types of people in this world when it comes to spelling: the Linguistic Savvy Perfectionists and the Wuzzup Bros.

The Linguistic Savvy Perfectionists generally use a high vocabulary, probably from reading. There are four ways you can spot one of these people:

  1. If they use a large word in the correct context but pronounced completely wrong. Don’t make fun of them; they learned it from books.
  2. Their texts to friends have full sentences, including commas, proper capitalization, and even quotation marks.
  3. They correct other people’s grammar. “It’s not ‘me and Tara.’ It’s ‘Tara and I.’” (Yes, it is very annoying and they know it.)
  4. They detest slang and abbreviations like ‘hilar,’ ‘legit,’ ‘tots,’ and ‘cray-cray.’

The Wuzzup Bros are also identifiable. Here is how:

  1. Their texts are sentence fragments, all lowercase or all in caps, and often send emojis instead of words.
  2. They use slang and abbreviations when texting and speaking.

It’s needless to say, the Linguistic Savvy Perfectionists and the Wuzzup Bros don’t get along very well. However, I speak as an LSP when I say everyone can agree on this:

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This is my Vegan Eggplant Lasagna. Yet it is pronounced as “lasan-ya.”

For a long time, I didn’t realize that bologna had the similar pronunciation to lasagna, and I sounded out the word with the G. It is like the English language it purposely trying to make me feel stupid.

Try saying these words exactly how they are spelled:

  • Light
  • Plough
  • Laugh
  • Neighbour
  • Cough

These silent GHs are ridiculous. We pronounce the G in ‘ghost’ and ‘spaghetti’ even though it is followed by and H. There are more exceptions to the rule than the words that actually follow the rule. Remember “I after E except after C”? That isn’t true for a lot off spellings:

  • Weird
  • Vein
  • Seize
  • Foreign
  • Feisty
  • Their

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If you skipped or skimmed that little grammar rant, you are probably a Wuzzup Bro. Or really hungry and just want to find the recipe already.

About this lasagna, you may have heard of eggplant parmesan, but now it is layered into a delicious recipe that is suitable for the dietarily restricted with no specialty items. I roasted the eggplant ‘noodles’ before the layering to add flavor, coating them in ground hazelnuts. Unless you are allergic to nuts, I would advise you not to skip this ingredient. The taste is incredible. It won the approval of the taste testers who are not health foods fans. There is no greater recommendation than that.

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Vegan Eggplant Lasagna

Ingredients:

  • 4 Spanish eggplants
  • 1 1/2 cup ground hazelnuts*
  • 1 tsp of:
    • garlic powder
    • oregano
    • dried basil
    • salt
  • 1 cup grapeseed oil
  • 1 cup tomato sauce
  • 2 cups canned white kidney beans
  • 1/4 cup almond or coconut milk
  • 1/2 tsp of:
    • salt
    • onion powder
    • parsley
  • Cheese** for topping

*You can make your own ground hazelnuts by pulsing them in a food processor. Do not over process or you will make hazelnut butter.

** I used dairy-free Daiya cheese

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Slice the eggplant lengthwise into thin slices.
  3. Mix the ground hazelnuts with the garlic, oregano, basil and teaspoon of salt. Dip the eggplant slices into oil then into the hazelnut mixture.
  4. Place the eggplant slices onto baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes. Let cool.
  5. In the meantime, blend the kidney beans with the milk, half a teaspoon salt, onion powder, and parsley.
  6. Spread some tomato sauce on the bottom of the lasagna pan. Lay some eggplant slices, cut to fit the pan if need be. Spread the white kidney bean mixture onto the slices and spread the tomato sauce on top. Repeat for four more layers. For the top eggplant layer, spread tomato sauce and top with cheese.
  7. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes, then let cool for 10 minutes before serving.
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